Education and Social Skills Part Two

Does school offer education and social skills? Last week I broke down for you what you received from school other than education. Hopefully, if you read it, you took the time to research and fact check the information that was mentioned. Remember, I simply informed you, education doesn’t begin until you fact check.

Onto social skills. As mentioned in the prior article, people who say school teaches you social skills, have no clue of the official definition because they never seen it. In fact, most people who use words have never looked at the words in the dictionary to see the definition for themselves. Wikipedia’s definition is: A social skill is any competence facilitating interaction and communication with others where social rules and relations are created, communicated, and changed in verbal and nonverbal ways. The process of learning these skills is called socialization. Lack of such skills can cause social awkwardness. Indeed’s definition is: Social skills are skills that promote effective communication with others. There are various social skills as well as several different ways in which we communicate on a daily basis. Social skills include written, verbal, nonverbal and visual communication used to relay a message to others. My definition of social skills is learning how to have a conversation (not an argument) with any one at any time about anything. Did school give you this skill? As mentioned in the last article, we were trained to not think critically, to not use common sense, we were trained to be like slaves with a master or dictator (parent, clergy, teacher, doctor, police, government official, etc.). The master spoke, we believed. If you stop to think about social skills and its definition, you actually had it at the age of four and once you got into school it was slowly removed from you. Let’s take a look at what you received from school that is not a part of social skills.

FEAR OF QUESTIONING

If you think about 4/5 years old, their stereotype is humans that do not shut up. They constantly talk and ask the forever annoying…“why.” Asking why is actually a good thing. Everything that is good for us as humans on earth has a why. We tie our shoes (why) so we do not trip and fall; we eat (why) so we do not die of malnutrition; we wear clothing outside (why) because it is the law (unless you are in a designated area). Everything has a why. The only people who have a problem with why are arrogant people who know they are wrong and o not want to come up with another lie and ignorant people who do not know the why and are too arrogant to say I do not know. When a child asks why, that is the perfect time to take the child to the library (if they are open) and teach the child how to research the why. This helps the child understand they have the power for themselves to find out why. At certain ages it is considered inappropriate for children to question authority or their elders. Thus, we begin to stop questioning. Questioning is a part of social skills. Because of the practice of teaching children to not question (so much); we have been feared into not questioning when it matters. Although doctors kill more people than anyone else, we do not question them. Although priests have never faced a day in prison for molesting altar boys, we do not question them. Although drinking cow’s milk is a scientifically unnatural act, we do not question it. Once you stop questioning, you have removed an important factor of social skills.

DISCRIMINATION/SEGREGATION

When you were 4/5 years old, you played with any child no matter their gender, ethnicity, zodiac sign, height, weight, age, clothing they wore, etc. You would talk about anything to any child and laughed and had much fun. By the time you were in the fifth grade you separated yourselves into cliques and did not speak to certain people. Social skills do not discriminate. They talk to anyone at any time. Social skills do not segregate and separate, nor does social skills wait to be invited to a special lunch table where all the cool students eat. Social skills have no respects of persons. Social skills, treats everyone equally at all times. When you were 4/5, you did just that. Treated everyone equally. School taught you how to discriminate who you treat with respect and who you treat with disrespect.

EXCLUSIVITY

Not only did you learn how to exclude your fellow students due to their lack of popularity, you also learnt how to exclude yourself from life’s opportunities. What do I mean by this? School indirectly taught you that some children are super smart, others are smart, some are remedial, slow, and others are not academically good. School separates students into classes according to grades, making some students vain, while causing other students to have low-self esteem issues due to their lack of performance. The problem with the school system is not the students, it’s the system. Every human being is smart, no human being is smart in every area. By forcing a penguin to fly because the eagle flies, you make the penguin feel he is inadequate. If you accept the fact that he was not created to fly and allow him to do what he does best, swim, then you realize he is not dumb, you are dumb for asking him to do what he does not so…fly. No plant, insect, human, animal, virus, you name it is well-rounded. Only a fool would expect one to be. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. The heart cannot hold items, that doesn’t make the hand smarter. It simply means you are foolishly comparing the hand to the heart. They both are needed, just in different ways. All people are smart and needed, just in different ways. If you do not allow the child who is horrible in math see how amazing they are in History or English, the child will not use their potential in other fields of study to make a difference in his/her community. Instead, they will think they are not as smart as others, and when opportunities come their way, the only thing they will think is, I am not smart enough. They will then exclude themselves from opportunities because their grades told them that opportunity was not for someone like them.

CRITICIZING/BULLYING

If you ever took the time to read the comments and posts on social media, they are mainly toxic, mean, hateful, and filled wit hanger. You did not have any of that anger and bullying skills when you were 4/5 years young. You gained that through school. You were bullied or you saw someone else be bullied. Many people learned how to use their words to degrade people through school. The back and forth of arguing, the shade and clap backs, you did not do that at 4/5 years. You learned those skills through school. Even if you learned them through your older siblings/cousins, they learned it through school. Even the name choices that is used (snowflake, fag, sissy, scaredy-cat) is gained through the school system.

VANITY

When you were 4 years old (ask your parents) you did not care what you wore. In some cases, your parents had to change your clothing because you chose to wear an outfit your parents did not approve. If a child could, would wear a superhero or princess costume every day. When you got to school you learned about name brands and the importance of wearing what is in fashion and in season. You learned how to purchase fancy expensive well-known name brands you could not afford from school. After leaving school most people won’t step near a thrift store because they fear people finding out they do not have the funds to keep up with the Jones or Kardashians. School made you that self-conscious and vain. When celebrities wear regular, cheap, and informal clothing, they are ridiculed. You did not care about what celebrities were wearing when you were 4. Now thanks to school, you think what people wear is more important than their character. School gave you the care to waste money in clothing. Remember, the why of wearing clothing is because it is illegal to walk around naked. The law never stated you had to be in fashion wearing expensive clothing. School gave you the care. Caring about clothing and making fun of people who are not as fashionable as you think they should, is not social skills.

LOW SELF-ESTEEM/INSECURITY

At 4 you could wear a costume in January to a store and not feel insecure at all. By the time you entered school you became so self-conscious of everything that you became an insecure wreck. From students bullying you, to teachers giving you failing grades, to attempting to keep up with the Jones, school gave you, not social skills, insecurity skills. Children at the age of 4/5 believe they can do anything. They have no insecurities. They can laugh at any mistake without a problem. They also are not offended when corrected. Once you went through the school system you gained a fake version of yourself because you felt the need to please and satisfy people. You lost you. You began to change yourself for your parents who expected you to pass all the tests, the teachers who never understood how to teach you the way you learn, and of course the other students. You changed yourself completely just so certain students could like you. You changed your clothing, hair, makeup, and many other things just to be accepted by those who do not matter. By the time you left school you got so used to being fake that every time you chose to be the original you, you felt self-conscious and insecure, afraid someone might criticize or not approve.

CANCELLATION/INVALIDATE

People with social skills never cancels anyone nor do they invalidate a story. In today’s time if your story does not fit the majority, you are cancelled and your story is considered not real. People with social skills know that socially we are all different with diverse stories and backgrounds and it is okay. People with social skills understands your story does not need to be like mine in order for it to be true. People with social skills also knows they do not need to have experiences someone else’s story in order for it to be true. Most people today are arrogant and do not take the time to listen to someone else’s story without judgment, condemnation, or doubt. Social skills does not mean talking with people who agree with you., it also doesn’t not mean arguing with people who disagree with you. Social skills is having a conversation, calmly, and understanding when disagreements happen, listen before you speak. School did not give you the skill of being social. School gave you the skill of only speaking and being around like-minded people. Now, there is nothing wrong with being around like-minded people, the thing is, that is not social skills. Social skills is knowing how to talk to anyone about anything at any time without arguing. If you feel the need to make your point right and someone else’s wrong, you do not have social skills. That is arguing skills. In arguing one side is right and one is wrong. In social skills both sides are different. Different does not mean wrong, it simply means different. If you call things that are different, weird, strange, or odd you do not have social skills. People with social skills knows that something that is unknown to them is not weird or strange, it is simply unknown to them.

LYING SKILLS

The home and school systems taught you how to tell a lie. Whether it be white, black, big or small, people with social skills do not lie. There is never a reason to lie to people. If you think there is then obviously you must see you do not have social skills. If telling the truth is fearful to you then you don’t have the skills to be social. Again, when having social skills, you are simply having a conversation. Not a debate, argument, or fight, a simple conversation. Most people lie for the fear of what the truth might do. The fear of questioning and lying skills come from the slavery institution. When you did wrong or questioned your master as a slave you were whipped. In the home, church, school, etc. institutions we use spankings, hell, principal’s office, prison, etc. to scare people into doing what is right or dictated. If you read the New Testament (Holy Bible) Jesus never uses punishment on anyone. He has conversations and adult discussions with those who questioned him. He is even seen sitting and having lunch and conversations with sinners. Not once does he spank, send anyone to hell, or to the principal’s office or prison. That is why we lie and do not question. We fear the repercussions. Social skills do not have corporal punishment. Like Jesus, who had conversations and discussions, when something bad or wrong happens, people with social skills, sits and have conversations and talks to discuss what happened, why, and the lesson learned. That is how you gain the trust of anyone to speak truth with you and to talk to you without fear on any topic. That is social skills. Remember that Hitler, the Bloods, The Crips, K.K.K., the mafia, ISIS, and so many others doing evil uses fear. People who are doing what is right never needs to use fear. Social skills are not about fear. If you fear speaking truth you have yet to learn social skills.

If you take the time to think (I am giving you the permission to do so) you had social skills before school. You had conversations with anyone at any time without fear. In fact, you were taught not to talk to strangers and not to give out your personal information to strangers. You did not have a problem talking and including everyone. School taught you how to be exclusive, judgmental, and demeaning to anyone you decided was not good. Which by the way school taught you how to determine who is and is not good enough to have a conversation with. Social skills talks to everyone. There is not discrimination in being social.

These articles may be challenging to absorb. That is okay. Remember you were taught not to think just believe whatever the adults tell you. I ask you to ask yourself one question. Do you feel comfortable walking up to a homeless person and striking up a friendly conversation and then finding out how you can help him/her get back on his/her feet? If the answer is no, then you do not have social skills people with social skills are comfortable with striking up a conversation with anyone at any time. Furthermore, people with social skills do not judge someone else according to what they see. They judge according the information they received in starting a conversation. Rethink if school gave you all the education and social skills you need. If you had to figure something out on your own, then you educated yourself. If you still argue and call names online, you have yet to understand social skills. No judgement on my part. Simply helping you to think about what you were told.

Does school/college offer education and social skills? I will leave you with these facts. Thomas Edison was taught at home by his mother from 3rd grade to high school and Albert Einstein did not receive a degree in science and they bother had education and social skills. Now go fact check that information and start a conversation (not an argument) about this topic.

--

--

--

Proud uncle, writer (author, poet, songwriter, playwright, screenwriter, drama series), fashion designer, graphic designer, visual artist, and so much more.

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

A Literacy Literal Path

Blue Caduceus

Emotions as a Driving Force for Learning

Homework #7

Studying Storytelling as Resistance — Slashing Public Funding for the Humanities in Australia

Portfolio Class

How we can use Learning Styles

Summer at Stewart B. McKinney: Crabs, birds, and more!

The top 5 tips to improve family-school collaboration in COVID and beyond

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Casey Bell

Casey Bell

Proud uncle, writer (author, poet, songwriter, playwright, screenwriter, drama series), fashion designer, graphic designer, visual artist, and so much more.

More from Medium

In Dealing with Life’s Setbacks

How To Have A Consistent Goal In Life?

Tips for Giving Effective Feedback | Brook Lang Seattle | Professional Overview