Royal people always own something. The one thing you will never see a person of royalty do is borrow. If you are not owning your car/home/business etc than you are not royalty. So many girls say I just want a man who will treat me like a queen. People in England treat Queen Elizabeth like a queen not because she wants to be treated like one, but because she is one. If he is not treating you like a queen than that means one thing, you are NOT a queen. After Prince Akeem (Eddie Murphy) in the film, “Coming to America” asks Semmi (Arsenio Hall) how do I look (after getting a haircut), Semmi replies, I think it is time to go find your Queen. Not girl, woman, side chick, baby’s momma, hoe, etc, but QUEEN. When you continue to watch the movie, he went to a nightclub looking for his queen, but could not find her there. I just said something there, I hope you were listening. Where did he find his Queen? At a benefit assisting her father’s business. Not only was she working, but also, she was helping the community at this benefit. Yes, her legs where showing, but her top was covered. She spoke with dignity and addressed the crowd as a Queen would. When Lisa McDowell (Shari Headley), her sister Patrice (Allison Dean), Akeem and Darryl (Eriq La Salle) went to the basketball game, Patrice thought the best way to get Akeem’s attention was to touch his privates. As a girl, females believe sexual attraction is the first and easy way to get a husband, but men (husbands/kings) are not interested in females who offer sex to a man before marriage. Only boys want sex before marriage. In the entire movie as Akeem pursued Lisa, sex was never offered or mentioned. The only thing he wanted was to find a Queen to be his wife. If you are waiting for a husband, the first thing to do is become a wife and a queen. Let’s talk about clothing. Many females (girls) argue that no male has a right to proposition a girl for sex simply because she is dressed provocatively. You are 100% correct, but let’s look at the angle of you (the female) wanting to be treated like a queen. In certain African countries, there are kingdoms, which mean they are ruled by a king/queen. As most of you should know due to PBS, Discovery Channel, and other channels as such, the citizens walk around half-naked. The women walk around with their breast exposed, the men walk around with nothing, but their loins covered, and the children both boys and girls walk around completely naked. It is common to do so. However, the kings/queens, and prince/princesses never dress as such. They know that it is common to walk around half-naked, but they also know that they are NOT common, so they don’t. Further more if you see pictures of the royal family of any kingdom or country, they dress differently then the citizens. Not because they think they are better, but because the citizens believe, they are less than the royal family. Take a moment to go to any search engine and type in King, Queen, Prince, Princess, or royal families in the world. Click on the images tabs and look at these people. They are always covered and always looking like royalty. Not because they have to, but because they know who they are. How you dress shows people who you think you are. If you are dressed like a common citizen that is what you believe you are, if you are dressed like a thug that is what you think you are, if you are dressed like a hooker, then that is what you think you are, but if you are dressed like royalty that is what you know you are. If you do not dress like a queen (or at least appropriate) you will not be treated like one. You can never change people judging you, but you can change how they judge you by what you wear. You can fight, argue, or fuss about it all day long, but if you want the dogs (boys) to stop being attracted to you then you have to stop wearing the clothes that attract them. Last comment, if you believe in equality, if it is not appropriate for a man to walk around with certain body parts exposed than it shouldn’t be appropriate for women.
The words gentleman and lady simply describe kind behavior. Any boy, man, husband, or king can be a gentleman. All men, husbands, and kings are gentlemen, but not all boys and fathers are gentlemen. Gentleman/lady simply describes a person who is kind, gentle, compassionate, considerate, selfless, and loving. All of those attributes come with knowledge. In other words, you can learn to be a gentleman with the help of a woman, girl, boy, man, etc, but you can only become a man with the help of a man or the Holy Spirit. No one can force a male how to become a man (start a business, wait for sex, treat a woman with respect, cultivate, etc), it is something he has to choose to do on his own. However, being a gentleman is simply remembering etiquette. Many boys can hold a door open for a female and still cheat on her. Being a gentleman is not being a man. It is simply a behavioral characteristic. Don’t just look for a kind man make sure he is working, debt free, and not mentioning sex.
This is an excerpt from my book, Men Are Dogs